Avoiding Toddler Bedtime Problems

Sometimes even the best-laid bedtime routines for toddlers can be derailed. The good news: You can get your child back on track.

If sleep can be hard for grownups from time to time, it's no wonder that toddlers — who have trouble winding down in any situation — have their bouts with restless nights. The good news is that with help from you, these restless phases don't have to last long. Here's a look at some of the most common reasons for bedtime problems and some tips on how to remedy them.

Lack of bedtime routine. This has to be the most common — and most easily remedied — roadblock to nightly bliss. Toddlers are creatures of habit. As chaotic as your family schedule may be (and whose isn't?), setting up a comforting and consistent bedtime routine that starts early enough to ensure sufficient z's is worth the trouble. The beauty of it is that it doesn't have to be trouble. In fact, the simpler, the better. The three Bs — bath, bed, and books — are all you need, customized to fit your family, of course. Once your little one comes to expect bath time, followed by one or two stories, followed by a cozy tuck-in, she'll see it as just another part of her day. It will be a bumpy adjustment at first if she got used to the routine of her nonroutine, but make it sweet, make it relaxing, make it predictable, and she'll soon go along happily. Learn more about the best bedtime routines for toddlers

Fears and bad dreams. It's a cruel irony that what seems like days after your baby has achieved that miracle of miracles — sleeping through the night — nighttime fears set in. Whether it's monsters under the bed or fear of darkness, these emotions are very real to your toddler. You can help put her/him fears to rest by letting her/him know you realize how scary these things may seem. Try not to laugh them off or dismiss them as "silly." Once she knows you're on her/him side, do what you can to reassure her/him  she's safe. During the day, talk to her/him about her/him fears and spend time with her in her room. Come bedtime, plug in a night-light (or two) and check the closet and under the bed ("No monsters here!") to give her some peace of mind. That said, try to keep as close to her normal routine as possible. She'll feel more reassured if she sees that you're not worried.

If a nightmare or bad dream wakes your child from a sound sleep, go to her/him to reassure her/him, he/she's safe. She may ask you to stay with her for a while, maybe even until she falls asleep, which is fine, as long as it doesn't become part of your nightly routine. If it does, gradually reduce the time you stay with her each night. In the long run, teaching her how to fall asleep on her own will help give her control over things that go bump in the night.

If none of these ideas works and your child is anxious in general, extremely fearful, and inconsolable, you may want to talk to your pediatrician for advice.

Vacations or sickness. Expecting your child to drift off to dreamland in a strange room or when her nose is stuffed is asking a lot. Moms know that when their child is away from home or stuck in bed with a cold or flu, getting her to sleep is a whatever-works proposition. Cuddling, co-sleeping, extra hugs, kisses, and special requests are not off-limits. The trouble comes when the bags are unpacked or the last sniffle is gone, and your toddler has grown attached to the anything-goes bedtime routine. The best solution? Simply go back to the old routine as soon as possible. You'll meet some resistance at first, but stand your ground and you'll be back to normal in a few nights.

Of course, if your child suffers from disturbances like sleep apnea, narcolepsy, sleepwalking, or any other physical problem, see your pediatrician to help find the best course of treatment.